Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
