I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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