This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
