Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
