puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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