So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
