pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
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