I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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