I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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