we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
