Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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