She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize