Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just tell him i said nine months
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
