haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
