Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
