Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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