I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
