before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
