I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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