let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
