You're so nebulous sometimes
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
