I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize