so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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