You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
