Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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