btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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