yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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