In the future we'll all be gay
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude i'm inner monologue high
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
