I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
