Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
