Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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