So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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