There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
