I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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