you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
