I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
