look no pants
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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