idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
There's always time for handjobs
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize