You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
