I want to stick my p in your. b.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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