just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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