Ambien. No doubt about it.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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