i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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