I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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