I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize