Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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