So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize