just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So vagazzling was a success
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
