he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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