It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
