and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
