And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
