i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You pole danced in your parka.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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