It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
